Are Great Relationships All About Luck?

What you believe about men and relationships you either believe that you’re basically given a certain “luck” with men, and that you’ve either got it or you don’t when it comes to true love. Or…You believe that it takes a certain set of “skills” to meet a great guy and make a real and lasting relationship work, and that, as an intellectually and emotionally intelligent woman, you can improve your own set of “skills.”

If any part of you is still holding on to the idea that you have bad luck, and that you have been, and are destined to be unlucky, then you’re not really ready to make a change in your life, because you still don’t accept the simple fact that it is YOU and only you who holds the power to change things.

But if you believe that love and really amazing and exceptional relationships, like most other things in life, are created by the luck that happens when the right situation (man) intersects with the right person who’s ready… then keep reading.
Most older couples tell you “luck” which leads most of us to believe that our future romance is written in the stars and is our destiny. It makes us think that there is a soul mate out there for each and every one of us. When asked are great relationships really about luck, a second answer older couples might give you is skill. That skill is needed for the couple to get along with one another and they have to will to make everything work out in the end. These couples don’t think luck has anything to do with relationships; to them, it’s all about their skill in handling the situation.

Naturally, the second answer to the question of are great relationships really about luck will result in healthier, longer-lasting relationships. Some of us wait for Mr. Right to run into us on the street refusing to take matters into our own hands. We can use casual dating to our advantage by learning certain tips on how to find the right person and what qualities we prefer. It will also teach us to learn the skills necessary to handle various types of situations that arise during relationships and dating, which in turn we will be able to use later when we finally do find Mr. Right. Keep in mind, men can’t be forced to love us. However, by going out and having a good time we can also learn how we ourselves operate romantically.

First Understand His Commitment Process

For most men, a lasting commitment isn’t just a matter of choosing a woman and saying “Yes.”
It takes a specific set of ongoing experiences to get a man to keep opening up and to learn to love and share more deeply as time goes on. See… some women naturally understand what this “thing” is that I’m talking about and never come across some of the other common problems that other women run into again and again with men and relationships.
They have an actual SKILL that they use intuitively, which causes the men they’re with to actually CHASE THEM and LEAD THEM into a committed and loving relationship.

Isn’t that how it’s “supposed” to be anyhow? It is.
But as you may know all too well, it doesn’t always work this way for some women.
In fact, it only works this way with men if you know how to trigger specific emotions and responses inside a man.
And then keep those things going and alive in a long-term relationship.

Most women don’t like to talk about it, and they certainly don’t like to admit it about themselves… but there’s a lot of women out there who just don’t get how to do these things when it comes to men and relationships.
And while woman have many, many amazing and natural gifts… not every woman in the world is born with the skill of knowing how to inspire a man in a long-term committed relationship. Not every woman naturally “gets” how to keep things passionate and growing with a man more than a few months or so until the guy predictably pulls away or becomes distant and starts doubting things. It’s at this moment that, for some women, the wheels come off completely… and they have no idea what to do about it to get things back on track. And this is when women most often feel hurt, unappreciated and start doing and saying things that come from a “lesser” place inside them and ultimately pulls their relationship apart.

These things usually include:

  • Saying negative and critical things about the flaws they see in the man
  • Feeling sad and down about themselves
  • Constant worrying, analyzing and feeling bad which gives them a heavy negative energy around the man
  • Becoming angry and blaming a man for not loving them or treating them the way they expect

And a whole slew of  “Convincing Behaviors” that only push the man farther away and kill the love and attraction he was feeling
Here 2 situations :
A) Being a woman who “gets” certain things about a man that, in turn, gives you the ability to understand what a man is doing and why… and for you to be the kind of woman in a relationship that will make a man KNOW, with his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, that he wants to be close and connected with you, and only you.
B) Being a woman who just doesn’t understand where a man is coming from and why everything has to be so difficult… and sensing that a man isn’t “there with you”… and not having a man who “feels it” for you on an intense-passionate-gut- reaction-emotional-gotta-be-with-her-or-else kind of level.
Which situation sounds better to you?

And which has a higher potential for “success” when it comes to a real, loving, and lasting relationship?
Obviously, the first one.
But which situation can you honestly identify with more?
Unfortunately, if you’re like lots of women I’ve talked to about men, dating and relationships, then you identify more with the second situation.
Guess what?  There’s a simple “skill” you can learn and become great at with men that often means the difference between you experiencing more of the first situation above, instead of the second,
Best of all, contrary to popular belief, this skill is NOT something you have to be born with or else.
The truth is, ANY WOMAN can learn these skills who is opening to learning about men.
And any woman can quickly begin improving her dating life, or her relationship with that one special man with this one skill.

So what is this one essential skill among the many relationship skills?

It’s the skill of creating ATTRACTION inside a man, and making your man feel that intense emotion of ATTRACTION when he’s with you.

What is attraction, and how does it work when it comes to men?
A lot of women seem to think that ATTRACTION is when one person wants what another person has.

Some think of ATTRACTION as the result of being good-looking or otherwise “attractive”. In fact, I think a LOT of people confuse ATTRACTION with “being attractive.”
When I think of the concept of ATTRACTION, I think of it primarily as an EMOTION.
In other words, ATTRACTION IS A FEELING that we either feel, or we don’t.

And there’s not much of anything at all in between when it comes to a man being at a place where he’s ready to be open, loving and COMMITTED with a woman… long-term.
Attraction is actually more of a COMBINATION of powerful experiences and beliefs that come together to form a very, very special and all powerful SUPER-EMOTION.

However you think about it, there is a process that happens between men and women that keeps them connecting – to get together both physically and emotionally in relationships.
If a man feels ATTRACTION for a woman, on a deep emotional level BEYOND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, then nothing else really matters.
Not looks, age, nationality, wealth, religion, etc.
Not peer pressure from friends and family.
Not even where a man is in his own life, which he often uses as an excuse – such as where his career is, his personal income, that he needs his freedom, he’s too young, he needs to “have his fun” before he settles down… all that stuff.
None of it matters!
On the other hand, if a man DOESN’T feel ATTRACTION for a woman, then nothing else matters in that case either!

You can’t “talk” a man into feeling ATTRACTION any more than you can “talk” a person who has just eaten a huge meal into feeling hungry.
Unfortunately, some women try all the things they can think of that would work FOR THEM, and try and make a man feel a certain way about them inside.

Think back to the “Convincing Behaviors”  listed earlier.

A few examples of Convincing Behaviors are:
1.Calling a man when he’s not calling you after a great date and showing your frustration with him (it’s an indirect emotional ploy that a man won’t positively respond to)
2.Becoming upset or demanding that a man doesn’t want more from your relationship because it’s been however many weeks or months
3.Becoming intimate and sexual with a man early on and telling, rather than asking him, that this “means” that you’re exclusive
All of these things are about as likely to work as a creepy guy buying bottled “pheromones”
to try and pick up women.

Now, what is it that all of the things above are missing? They not only won’t make a man feel attraction… they’ll literally kill any kind of attraction a man WAS feeling before.

If you don’t know how to create attraction with a man, and you keep doing things that are driven simply out of YOUR own feelings, emotions, fears, desires, etc… you’re not likely to get very far with a man.

But…If you can step outside yourself for long enough to understand a few of the things that are going to make him feel great, guess what? Not only will you ATTRACT a man…You’ll also start getting all kinds of amazing things back in return.

More affection. More praise. More intimacy. More passion. More more more!

Do you know why men don’t ALWAYS go for and marry the “best woman”?(“Best” meaning the woman who’s the most generous, loving, patient, thoughtful, educated, successful, etc.)
It’s the same reason why women don’t go for the “nicest” guy.

The reason men don’t go for or stay with the better woman is that men aren’t making their choices “logically.”
They make their choices because of the way they are FEELING.

A woman can be honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful.
But a man won’t want really want and need her unless she makes him FEEL the magical feelings of ATTRACTION inside.
Think of ATTRACTION like a drug (which it really is).
If a man is under the influence of it, then he’s gone. He’ll do anything to get more.
If he’s NOT under the influence, then YOU’RE gone. Nothing you do will matter if he doesn’t feel it.

If you doubt what I’m saying, ask the next 10 SUPER-HOT men you see what they think of this. Read this newsletter to them, and watch their reactions. You’ll see.
Now look back into your life and think about all those situations with men that made no sense at all…
Think about the men that you treated wonderfully that passed you up and went on to the “bitchy” woman… and think about all the male “friends” you’ve had… the ones who told you they wanted a “nice girl”… but kept dating the same kind of neurotic “bad girl” who didn’t have her life together AT ALL.
Is it all making sense now? They didn’t keep feeling that INTENSE ATTRACTION for you that they might have had a taste of when you first met.
And as time went on and your relationship started to seem less certain, you were not only doing less of the things that connected you and your man on the physical and emotional attraction level…
You were also actually doing the things that killed these attraction feelings altogether.

The things you were trying to do to keep your relationship together were having the EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT of what you wanted. It’s harsh to think about, but it’s true. If you don’t do something to learn how to make men feel ATTRACTION, and not just physical attraction which won’t last, then most likely, this is going to keep happening for you. A lot of women confuse the idea of being “attractive” with the emotion called ATTRACTION. You can make a man feel an INCREDIBLE ATTRACTION, even though you’re not what most people would think of as “attractive”. But, of course, you have to know HOW. The point is, that if you’re not perfectly thin, “done-up” and “flawless” (and… who is!?), you can LEARN how to make men feel this wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION.
It’s a skill.

There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be successful with men, dating and relationships:
There are 2 types of ATTRACTION a man can feel.
And for a man to become “serious” about a woman, he HAS to feel BOTH.
Men don’t DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a woman.
ATTRACTION is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons.
Sure, it’s relatively easy, in the grand scheme of things, for a man to feel “PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.”
But having a man feel “EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION” is a whole different story.
Earlier was mentioned that there’s a reason why a man will commit himself emotionally to one woman, and not another?
This “other” kind of attraction is a BIG part of what’s going on here.
The way to cause a man to feel ATTRACTION for you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and then communicate in a way that makes it happen in a way that actually triggers the FEELING of ATTRACTION inside of a man on a deep emotional level.
Unique and Unpredicatable

It may surprise you, but one of the easiest, most effective ways to create attraction within a man – instantly and over time – is to be unique and unpredictable.
What I mean is you need to mix the serious with the fun and do it in a way he’s not expecting. It creates mystery and makes him want to stay with you because you’re always exciting to him. This requires a little thought and creativity, but the best part about it is that it keeps the relationship exciting for you, too.

So mix it up: if you normally do the same thing on Sunday mornings, come up with something different and unexpected. If you’re meeting a guy in a bar, don’t ask him what he does for a living. Engage him on a completely different subject he’s not expecting. When a man knows exactly what you’re going to do or say, then you become predictable. And predictable equals boring.  That’s when a man starts to lose interest.

One thought on “Are Great Relationships All About Luck?

  1. Interesting post. A lot of good advice about how to cope when the first flush of excitement has worn off – or in other words, how to make sure that doesn’t happen, or at least postpone it.

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