Ella Fitzgerald about Marilyn Monroe.

In the 1950s, the popular nightclub, Mocambo would not book Ella Fitzgerald because she was black. Fortunately for Ella, she had a powerful and unlikely benefactor Marilyn Monroe. “I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt…it was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the ’50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she promised she would take a front table every night. She told him – and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status – that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman – and ahead of her time and she didn’t know it.” – Ella Fitzgerald

Marilyn Monroe more photos

Love Hormone

Do you know why you feel so euphoric when you’re in love? Why you feel happiness when you’re with your love? Do you know what happens in your body and how you can influence this all?

Well I’ll try to tell you something about this. I’ll tell you something about at least six hormones that are involved with love. You probably know them, at least the names. So let’s talk about adrenaline, dopamine, fenylethylamine, endorphin and oxytocin.

Dopamine

Did you know that when you’re in love, dopamine gives you the same feeling as when you would use cocaine? Every time you see your love, you get a shot of dopamine and it’s addictive. Everyone who has been in love knows they wanted to see the one they were in love with again and again and again.

But when you’re in a relationship for a longer period, let’s say about two years; your body doesn’t produce that much dopamine anymore. The feeling of being in love slowly changed in loving him or her.

When you eat healthy, you’ll probably get enough vitamin B6 and magnesium.Those two together make your body produce dopamine. So make sure you get enough. And besides food, nice things like sex can lead to an extra production of dopamine

Fenylethylamine

Uhhh What? Yeah, try to pronounce this word without stumbling.

Fenylethylamine is produced in your brain. It has the same effect as XTC and speed. Your heartbeat is increasing, you start to breath faster, and the palms of your hands start to sweat, your cheeks and genitals get an extra blood flow and you start to feel happier.

When you eat a lot of cheese, eat lots of chocolate and drink plenty of red wine, maybe your brain gets some extra Fenylethylamine. (Besides the fact you’ll probably get nauseous.) Most of this gets decomposed in your intestines. When you have eye contact your brain also produces Fenylethylamine. The pupils of your eyes get bigger. But only when you see something you like. On the other hand, when you get the fright of your life, your brains starts producing this hormone too.

Adrenaline

Who hasn’t heard of it? The hormone that makes people run or fight. But when you’re in love adrenaline causes the reaction that you’re on standby all the way. Your pupils get bigger, your heart rate goes up, your breathing gets faster and you’re not so hungry because your digestive system starts to work slower.

If you want to let the adrenaline flow, get really angry, get into a situation where you get really scared, get overheated or go outside in your underwear when its ten degrees below zero outside or get some real physical exertion at the gym or maybe even at home with your loved one.

But be careful when you have a bad heart because in that case too much adrenaline can get you into trouble.

Endorphin

Endorphin is the morphine that your own body produces when you feel pain. When you’re in love it has the same effects as heroine and opium which cause you to feel more happy and joyful.

Eating fat, chocolate (Mmm again chocolate) and sugars make you produce more endorphin. An orgasm or running more than just around the block or far away from your in laws has the same effect.

When your body is producing less endorphin, there is a chance that you feel depressed or have mood swings.

Vasopressin

Vasopressin works for men in the same way as ocytocine does for women. It’s said that this hormone makes people monogamous.

If you want enough of this hormone, you’d better drink no alcohol. Alcohol is a restraining factor for the production of Vasopressin. When a man ejaculates there is a large amount of this hormone made by the hypothalamus and released in the blood stream. Vasopressin is also an antidiuretic hormone. So when you have enough of this hormone, you won’t wet your pants very easy. (If you have them on)

Oxytocin

Oxytocinis also called the mother hormone or cuddle hormone because when a mom breastfeeds her baby, this hormone is produced in large quantities. When you hug or caress this hormone is produced too. It makes you feel connected, takes away fear and makes you feel confident. That’s why a lot of people need foreplay before being able to make love all the way.

Where would we be without our own drug alike hormones?

www.formulaOZ.com  – the supplements for love.

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If you are serious about style and fashion, why not find a way to get involved with the industry you love, tell your stories to others and become a blogger?

Fashion blogs are increasingly influential with prominent bloggers regularly taking front-row seats at high-profile fashion shows.  Our main site – fashionblog.fr has given us fantastic opportunities,  being constantly invited to the brand launchers and Fashion Weeks, pretty amazing staff! Start with us, see if you liked and fly solo!

One of Those Days – Red

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Letter No 22, after 8 abusive SMSs, new conditions apply.

Svetlana,  I finally got all this off my chest. Sorry for giving you so much grief but you did hurt me. I still believe in my heart people are good and I do not want to think that you are a bad person. In my heart I still believe you just want to be taken care of and respected and loved like everyone. I think what you did was wrong but you had your reasons and I think I know why, you just wanted to have a back up person in case I did not work out or maybe I was your back up person in case your other partner did not work out or maybe you were just uncertain which man you wanted to be with or who wanted to be with you, I guess there are so many possibilities. In my heart I actually think this man was much more than a friend simply because you were protecting him so much. I am actually OK with this now. Because I am in love with you so much I find it hard just to leave you like this.

I could even consider being with you again but the rules would have to be different way different. Total honesty and no secrets or private meetings with men or women. If I ask you something, anything you cannot tell me NO.

So think about this for a while, if you are prepared to go down this track and be totally honest with me. I know this may not be you so you will need to think if you are prepared to have this type of relationship. You cannot have secret meetings or dates or secret friends that I do not know about. You know me now that I will test this from time to time and there are no second chances. No lies at all between us. If you go out with a girlfriend then it must be a girlfriend I cannot find out after that it was a man. I will find out. You know where I am coming from. I will give you the same honesty back I promise. If I do not stay with you one night and go back to my place I do not want to find out you have gone out with a man that night without me knowing about it and without you talking to me about this first. You would have to forget your single women rules. No texting men unless I know who they are.

You will have to email me your mobile again as I have removed all your numbers from my phone including your card so I have no record of this anymore. ( this guy runs IT company and can’t  retrieve the numbers????)

So think about this what you want to do also as the trust has been broken and would take a lot of work to build up again. We would need to sit down either at yours or my place in silent area and talk.

So what we would need to discuss and agree on is the following:

1. I need to know who this person was in detail that you went out with. Full name, phone number, when you met, how many times you seen each other, when you started seeing him when you finished if you finished. What does he do for a living etc. Need all these details. Did you have a full on relationship with him? What level, hand holding, kissing, etc. This is the first point and I will check all this so you know.

2.      There will be no more male dating or meeting including friends unless I know who they are and have met them.

3.      There will be no dinners, drink, dancing with any male people unless I know who they are and have met them.

4.      You cannot ever tell me that you do not want to talk about something. Total open honest discussions.

I will also give you all this in return. I will also not date see, dance, dinner or drink with any other woman.

So these are my 4 points I cannot accept anything less. I know it sounds like I am in business but you know the trust level has to be built up again and I just think your male friends are not friends but dates and this is not acceptable. The first point of course is the most important and I think you may not agree with this but this will be your test if you are prepared to come back to me or not.

Ball back in your court….take your time and think about it.

Why Do Lovers Lie?

Why do husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends lie to each other? It’s not pleasant to think about being betrayed by someone you love. No one likes to think that a husband or wife may be lying, especially not in their own relationship. And it’s probably safe to assume that everyone wants a close, romantic relationship that is built on openness, intimacy and trust. But despite our best intentions, our close relationships do not always work that way. Often, our romantic relationships involve some secrecy and deception. So, why do people lie to those they love?

Lying is a technique that is used to influence, control and manipulate other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Lying comes naturally, and most of the time, it happens with little awareness, effort, or thought. In fact, children start lying, quite effectively, early in life. And as adults, people continue to lie.

Not only is lying fairly common, but it can take several different forms. On occasion, people will tell a bold-faced lie. That is, say something that is explicitly not true. Most of the time, however, lying is best accomplished by what is left unsaid – a lie of omission. In this case, speakers leave out critical information (usually about who, what, where, when, or why) while leading hearers to believe that the complete story is being told.

So why do people lie, especially to those they love? Lying is typically motivated by one or more of the following factors:

Avoid Punishment
Lying is often used to avoid punishment or possible rejection. If a spouse or romantic partner is going to react poorly to the truth, generally speaking, people try to hide or conceal the truth. By nature, people are designed to avoid harm and punishment, even if individuals have to lie in order to do so.

Seek Approval
Not only are people designed to avoid punishment, but people universally have a need for approval. Lying and deception are often used to create a favorable image or impression. People will go to great lengths, even using deception, if necessary, to create a positive image.

Maintain Privacy
Everyone needs some privacy – a sense of independence, autonomy, and freedom. People like to feel in control, especially when it comes to giving out information about one’s self. Just because you are in a close relationship does not mean that you have completely given up your right to, or need for, privacy. So, lying and deception are very useful when trying to maintain a sense of one’s self that is autonomous, independent, and private.

Avoid Conflict
Couples rarely see eye-to-eye on every issue. And if couples were determined to (and some do), they could engage in never ending conflict on a range of issues. But, always engaging in conflict is damaging in any relationship. So, rather than argue about every issue that may come up, sometimes it is easier to avoid conflict by pretending to get along.

Regulate Power
Whether people like to acknowledge it or not, power differences are present in every relationship. Power involves having control when it comes to decision making. And power often switches back and forth between partners depending on the issue at hand. For instance, one partner might have financial power, while another partner may have social power (control in social situations). As a general rule, the person who lacks power in any given situation is more likely to lie in order to influence the outcome. For instance, kids are more likely to lie to their parents, employees are more likely to lie to employers, and the same holds true in close relationships. The person, who lacks power, is more likely to lie in order to get what they want. Lying helps individuals even out power differences that may exist.

Article by Timothy Cole, PhD. For more information on lying, lies, deception, love and romance, visit www.truthaboutdeception.com

Letter No20, around ONE secret date she had, after 4th brake up.

My Dear Svetlana,

I will not write any more bad emails to you I think you have had enough of this to probably last you a life time. I know you are a smart woman and also that sometimes we have to try to stand back and have a look at our own actions and how this affects people around us. I will try to tell my story and see if this makes sense to you. Think like it is not you I am writing about but another woman and this may just give you some distance, understanding and clarity.

We have become very close over the past 5 months and with this closeness also come new expectations on your partner. You have them on me now and I have them on you.

It comes back in my opinion in most cases to trusting the other person and trust comes from action the other person does.

I was committed to you after our second date and I did not look at another woman let alone go out with anyone else as I was serious about you and wanted us to work out. I can only concentrate on one relationship at a time and I think this is true for almost all people. Now of course no one knows in the beginning if it is going to work out with that person but that’s the reason you start seeing them and hope that you will have things in common and see the good in the other person. You have to have a positive attitude towards this and hope it will be good in the end.

Starting off a new relationship honesty is key so the level of trust can be built up quickly and not questioned.

I of course thought after Paris that we were a proper couple and things were going great. You introduced me to your friends and it was all going well. We decided to go to Surfers for the weekend and I booked and paid for holiday to Hawaii so in my opinion it was all good and not looking that anything was wrong. I did not even think for one moment that there was any secrets at that time between us.

I of course had one big one which was my marriage status which was bothering me a lot and felt that I had to tell you this sooner rather than later. However once I found out that your age was not 30 but 34  and you had been married before also I thought that maybe you are not all that it seems. Maybe you have a side that is not that honest and straight forward that I first thought but I thought to myself I also have this secret and I do not think I am a bad person.

You made it clear to me second week we were going out that you were not seeing anyone else and after this I did not question this again as I had no reason to. You seemed very much available to me when ever I wanted to see you so it did not occur to me at all that you may be going out and seeing someone else.

So this brings me to the night at the end of November when I texted you and asked how you were going. I had previously been to your place on the Monday for dinner and you said that on the Tuesday you would be home to pack and book tickets for your Brisbane trip. So I sent you the message around 7.30pm I think it was and you returned the message around 8.30pm saying you were great just finishing booking and packing. I then went to text you back straight away but changed my mind and decided to call you instead which was not something we normally did at that time as we normally just texted each other your phone was ringing and then went to message bank. At first I thought that you probably had just gone to the toilet and would call me back within a few minutes. Now the time went for maybe 20 minutes so I started to call you again and it went to message bank again. I then texted you asking what is going on. No answer so my mind started thinking and subconscious started working overtime. I thought one hour later still no return on phone that you are not home. So I thought why would you say you are home when you are not. Instantly I thought then that you are out with a man. First thought that came to me. You are hiding from me and you can not return my call or text message because you are with a date. I knew straight away it was not a friend because you would have texted or called me back even in front of this person but you did not. I was then also sure that you had texted me from the bathroom or when the man had gone to do something. You were hiding from him about me.

I thought that maybe this is just something I am making up in my mind and I am wrong. Maybe something actually happened to you and you were in some stupid accident at home or something. After maybe just over an hour I thought I have to go and see what happened to you so I jumped in my car and drow to your place. I felt bad and not right and just had this funny feeling that something was not right. You not calling or texting back just did not make sense. Once I got to your place I could see your car in your garage but you still did not answer your phone so I thought that you are definitely out but someone has picked you up.

It just then clicked to me that you are out on another date. This is not a friend because a friend you would tell me about. Why would you not because if it was a girl you had no trouble telling me who you were seeing but this time it was a male and not just a friend again because you were hiding from me there was something wrong here.

Not long after I could see you come home with a man and rest is history. Of course when I called you then from my car you started off by saying that you had been home all this time and just your computer was slow. But as the conversation went on I wanted to tell you what I had seen but wanted you to come clean and tell me. I knew at this point you were actually lying to me and I got very upset. I could not believe that after 3 months you were actually out with another man. Of course at the end of the day I finished with you then as you were lying to me and then you actually came clean in one way saying it was just a friend and you had to eat but you never wanted to say who it was not even a name. Now if it had been a true male friend you would have said his name and who he was but you did not. This just confirmed to me that it was a date. My trust level for you at this point went down to zero.

I know I was joking abut this to you in surfers and I kind of let it go and thought I will try to believe it was just a friend but in the back of my mind I just knew it was not, I said to myself the day I tell you about my marriage status then I have to find out who this person was. Was I wrong and was it actual just a friend or was it more. It just came back to me last week when I was away again and I had nights by myself and lots of time to think that this night and your action only pointed towards one thing. It was a date. Also your drink driving was behind you so I thought now was the time to bring it up again but this time properly. I used to do this with my sales people as they were always known for lying and not having the amount of appointments they said they had so I used to check on them. Get mobile phone statement and text message statements and find out exactly where they were and if it matched their stories. Most of the sales guys never planed that I would do this so they got caught out and then I fired them. Not going to have dishonest liars around me ever not in my business and not in my private life.

So I decided to bring this up again on the Friday and really make a point of it on Saturday. This time I thought I had to find out exactly who this person was and I would not back down until you told me. Hey if it actually was a friend of course you would tell me I knew you would.

I got very upset with you then thinking how you can treat me like this after everything I have done for you. Paid out so much money on your behalf supported you through your hard times and not expecting anything in return except some information and your love.

Again then back at your place you said you would not tell me so I got again very upset with you and left your apartment.

In the morning I decided to write you letter saying I need to know now who this person is. You kept on ignoring my request and in my mind it became now even more clear that not only was this not a friend it was a very important person and maybe the situation was even worse than I first thought.

I then spoke to Phill on Monday about this and he said straight away that she is hiding a boyfriend from you. If she is prepared to loose you over this then she has something big she is hiding and she is afraid that you will find out and break up with her.

I was now certain that this was not only a proper date but it was someone you had been seeing for sometime and you could not let me know this.

This then become so serious to me that you were double dating me not only just this one time you were actually also seeing another person at the same time and he also did not know about me.

Wow I thought I now know what has been going on this now all makes perfect sense. So it was one big aha moment.

So this was now in my mind. Even after many more emails and you still not wanting to tell me I decided to end it. it as obviously this secret was so big that you knew it would break us up. So I did break up and then just said to you that this was always in your hands.

You thought I was crazy had mental problems but when you read this now like a book maybe you can see it is not crazy or I do not have mental issue I actually have a brain that can think very clearly and put one plus one together and come up with two.

The worst type of people I know are the people that date more than one person at a time and now I thought to myself I am involved with one of these people I can not believe it.

In the end when it was all over you kind of told me a little about this person and still you tell me it was just a friend but your actions just still did not match this so I still could not believe this so I got again very angry at you trying to lie to me and deceive me again.

Someone I now loved very much and was planning a future with was lying to me to my face I just could not believe it I got so disappointed. I thought I could not be with you anymore but I still thought I did not know the whole truth. I still did not know this persons name. Why would you not tell me.

I still wanted to know who this very important person was that you were protecting. You said he now had a girlfriend which made sens that he was single then when you were going out but his situation had changed as you had not seen him for long time as you said. So again the little information you actually gave me was like a puzzle.

Why am I so obsessed about this as you would say well simple it is my life we are talking about the rest of my life and I have a saying in my office that’s says “be very careful who you choose as a partner as 90% of your happiness or misery comes from this one decision alone”. It is a powerful statement and very true.

This is my story my love Svetlana yes I am obsessed about this because it is probably the most important decision I will ever make and I must be sure it is right. I make a mistake now and pick the wrong person I might live to regret this. We have child or children etc ( he is 47 y.old men still talking about children together ?) and then I am in deep trouble so yes I am obsessed and maybe even a little mental about this as the decision is the most important one I will ever make so of course I am investing much of my thinking time about this decision.
I love you and still want to give you the benefit of a doubt. But things would have to change. I would need to know about you and what you do. I need to know who you actually are in more detail. You can not continue to live like a single person it does not work for me.I feel that I probably do not know it all today. This is the reason for my last email and yes maybe it looks very hard and as you said a prison but I actually do not think so.

I now need to know who this one person is in detail. I need to establish what you were doing at this time and your thought patterns. You still telling me he was just a close friend but again I find it hard to believe. I so wish I am wrong and I really want you to prove me wrong. This is why I need to know his name and I want to speak with him. I know how I would do this without making him or you uncomfortable. But then I would know after this that I am sure. So it would then be clear completely. Either you were telling me the truth or you still continuing to lie.

So you can now take this letter to your doctor and see what she says. I do not think it sounds that crazy or that I have mental problems.

It keeps on coming back to the same conclusion unfortunately. He was someone important in your life.
All I can say is please prove me wrong so we can continue our relationship I need to know do you not understand this. This is so important to me it is my life you are playing with. My whole future is on the line and yours.

This is all I wanted to say. This is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. As I said also today my settlement letter will be ready latest Friday this week you seen copy of email so you can see I am doing what I said I was doing. I am getting a divorce so you do not need to worry about this either anymore.

That’s all my love. I have tried to keep my anger and disappointment out of this letter but instead tried to tell my story from where I am sitting. If there is someway you can understand where I am coming from then this would be great, I know in my heart that you are smart woman and you understand perfectly well what I am saying but just some of your lawyer background is clouding you judgement a little.
So I will now be here waiting for you if you want. I certainly will not rush into another relationship I could not do that until I was over you and I do not know how long that would take. Not ready for long time need a real break from the dating scene.
So take your time think about this deeply. This is a very important decision for you and for me. It is our future and it could be excellent and I think you know this to.

Letter No18, after 3rd Brake Up

Well I do not trust you I will go tomorrow to doctor to make sure I have not caught some fucking sexual disease from you, It makes me feel sick thinking how many men you have had rotating in that bedroom of yours.
What they say about you Russian girls is all true. Last time I will ever date a Russian girl. You are so fucking cheap and nasty. How can I believe any word that comes from your mouth. Terrible upset I am but I will get over it in time, just had so much hope for us and you have missed out on such a great life you could have had.

No more boss, own business, travel and party no money problems ever, beautiful apartment and you still were prepared to give this away for some fucking urges you had for other men. I will never understand people like you. And after 3 months you still were going on dates this is just discussing behaviour. I bet you were doing it even this year. People like you are sick and need help. Maybe your parents should have thought you better in life as you are obviously not following any of their advice. Svetlana, I am so upset with you like no one has ever made me before.
Even my ex-wife is an angle compared with you. She would never have done this to me. In fact my wife is such a better person than you will ever be and I will still never go back with her but wow.
OK I just needed to get this off my chest. I am so angry I am boiling here at home. I will try not to send you any more emails now.
Will erase you from my computer and emails and through away your business card. I do not want to have any trace of you ever. Will throw out all your product in the bin also.
Hope you have a terrible night, week and month.

 

SUPER SEVENTIES a hair look

Super Seventies is amajor hair look – full of volume, either cascading waves (Blumarine) or gigantic frizz (Marc by Marc Jacobs); alternatively, slicked down and side parted (Gucci) or with the lengths rolled up (Louis Vuiton).

The age of disco and seventies South of France glamour: these were the cues defining the revival of one of the most style-focused decades, which were tossed about backstage as instant aide memoires for those who weren’t there first time around. The common factor is ‘expensive’: this particular revival owes much to high living New York style, circa 1977 when disco was at its peak. At Blumarine, the ‘Cote d’Azur lifestyle’ was in full effect with floaty kaftans, lots of gold jewellery and what Sam McKnight describes as ‘glossy, swishy hair with a light, floaty finish’. At Mulberry, a more daytime seventies vibe was apparent with long, lightly waved hair, a glossy healthy looking fringe, and every girl redhead looking like a natural.

Everyone loves abig, glam hair do for all the parties this season! Read these simple steps on how you can achieve the same look, without too much fuss or an expensive trip to the salon!

Step-by-step

1. Creating your base.
Create the perfect base for this lightweight style using Nourished Shine Shampoo and Conditioner to create a really glossy shine without weighing down the hair.
2. Inject some body with a blow dry.
Work a body magnifying mousse through from roots to ends and blow dry, using a a large, round brush. Make sure you dry your hair away from the face, to give your roots lift – this is not a flat hair look.
3. Get your tongs out.
Next, set the hair using large barrel curling tongs, slipping each roll off the tongs and immediately clipping to the head until completely cooled down. Once cold, unclip, then blow dry curls out, back and away from the facet to give the result of perfectly dressed, healthy looking hair with body, but which isn’t actually curly!
4. The final touches.
Finally, comb in a clean, centre parting, allowing the hair to fall lightly to each side, to retain some root lift. Mist over using a shine-enhancing hair spray to allow for movement and for hold.
Quick Volume Boosters
1. Before bedtime, pile your hair on top of your head or make a cheerleader ponytail. When you take hair down in the morning, it will have – and retain – double the body.
2. Mist fingertips with hair spray and massage your roots to add instant (and long-lasting!) volume.
3. For maximum boost, lift sections of hair toward the sky as you blow-dry, directing the flow of heat toward your scalp. This sets the roots in a more upright and lifted position.
4. Instead of teasing your tresses with a comb, which is an easy but damaging way to get instant volume, use a flat brush to back-brush hair at the roots.
5. Go light on products. If you must use hair spray, mousse or another styling product, control the dose by spraying it onto your hands and then running palms over your tresses.

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WHO IS ALPHA-FEMALE?

www.slavsagan.com
In the animal kingdom she is more feared than the Alpha male. Intelligent and cunning, a leader, she is a survivor. From the meerkat to the elephant, the strong endure – and boy is she strong.
Some say she doesn’t exist, not in the human world anyway.
I say the Alpha female does exist. But she is a rare find; more so if she is a heroine.

What makes an Alpha female the bad ass that she is?
She is extraordinarily confident, smart and a take charge kind of girl.

Step back because she will steam roll over anyone who would be stupid enough to challenge her.
Appearance is important.
How she looks is vital in manipulating others.
She uses her appearance as a tool bringing men to their knees with her sex appeal or reducing another woman to a puddle of insecurities.
She enjoys her sexuality immensely and works it to an art form.
Folks, she’s no Mona Lisa.

Now don’t look for her sipping margaritas and gossiping at the Karaoke bar with the girls.
She is neither well liked nor admired by other woman.
Let’s face it, she’s a bitch.
Unafraid and inviting trouble, she is a great contender for a villain.
Just think of the havoc she could wreck.

Don’t confuse the ALPHA female with a strong HEROINE. There is a distinct difference. Mainly that the heroine will ultimately end up with her happily ever after. Keep in mind I am speaking mostly in terms of the romance genre.

Let’s compare the other differences of these two.

The heroine finds herself in a relationship, regardless of want, need and/or chance.
The Alpha female is solitary. Pffsh. A man would only slow her down.
The heroine is a nurturer. She cultivates and cares for those dear to her and those she lets into her heart, although often she is cautious whom she lets in.
The Alpha female is missing that compassionate gene. Keep an eye on your children and small pets; she may eat them. And bunnies may end up in a pot of boiling water.
The heroine gives of herself.
The Alpha female is take, take, and take.The heroine considers others.
The Alpha female will do what it takes to further herself, leaving a wake of destruction and bodies.
For the heroine, sex, no matter how sweet or how dirty, becomes the first blush of love.
The naughty Alpha female just wants to throw down and then she’s out the door before her victim – er- partner can catch a breath. Bump, hump, thank you chump!

It’s simply hard to write a likable Alpha female. It’s not impossible though. It may take a great deal of internal thought and a noble motivation to relay why she behaves badly. The challenge is to focus on traits and make them work for her in a way the reader will relate positively. This is where subtle details can be strummed to create that perfect pitch of bad ass intertwined with the female psyche. Take a woman cleaning a really big gun, for instance. An author can portray her as sexy and terrifying just by how she caresses the gun with smooth delicate strokes, lamenting that the gun once belonged to her dead brother and reveling how she will use it to take out his killer. Maybe she kisses the bullet before she slides it in the chamber.

Just as the antagonist and the villain, she will have a weakness. Will it come by way of her final vindication? Or maybe in a fatal vice? Maybe she meets her match in an Alpha male, settles down and has a litter of Alpha children? Or did she simply run out of ammunition?

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ALPHA Male ALPHA Female

Play the Game and Win:

The Alpha Female and the Alpha Male know that the surest way to kill attraction (or fail to ignite it) is by displaying a lack of confidence. Even if you are not naturally confident, you can fake it until you make it.

ACT as IF. Meaning, even if you don’t think you have something, or if you want to become something, then act like you are what you want to be. No one can tell the difference because your dominant thoughts and actions define your reality… and others see YOU how you see you.

If you believe you are low status, unworthy, unlucky, too this or too that… that’s exactly what people will perceive. Yet if you want to be lovable, lucky, worthy, happy, confident… just act like it… and that you will become.

Sure this may sound harsh, but it’s the reality Alpha females will hook up with Alpha males… Beta females will pair with Beta males. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because people are different and have different tastes/opinions, etc… but if you wanna to find the best possible match for you… be it first, and only then you will attract the best.

Why do women go for the proverbial bad boy?
He’s confident… a break from Mr. Nice Guy. He could have no job, no money, no prospects, no teeth… be ignorant, abusive, abrasive, whatever… but none of that matters because he believes that he is a catch. The more he shows security within himself, the more attractive he is. Period. Luckily, there are some “bad boys” out there who are polite, good-looking, high status, etc… and only need the ‘right girl.  Nonetheless, my friends, confidence is key.

Want examples? Here goes:

ALPHA FEMALE: Never puts another woman down behind her back. She only acknowledges other women in nice ways.
Beta Female: Calls other women “bitches” and “sluts” and compares herself to others which backfires and makes the ‘others’ look more attractive.

ALPHA MALE: Waits to let a woman know he digs her and assumes that she likes him because she makes time for him.
Beta Male: Buys inappropriate gifts, calls/texts every day, shows that he’s grateful to have the chance to be with her.

ALPHA FEMALE: Appreciates her uniqueness… she constantly takes care of herself, including her body, because she loves and respects who she is.
Beta Female: Asks if these jeans make her look fat…”No, sweetie, your fat makes you look fat”. (If you don’t like the way you look then start working out and validate yourself.

ALPHA MALE: Doesn’t pressure a woman for sex (but leads her to it)…because he knows it’s gonna happen in time and anything of value is worth waiting for.
Beta Male: Has a 3 date rule… and misses out on the woman who would have been a “freak” for him had she only been emotionally connected.

ALPHA FEMALE: Keeps her own friendships, passions and interests and only lets men stay in her life when they enhance it.
Beta Female: Gives up all outside interests and makes her man the center of her universe.

ALPHA MALE: Grabs a woman and kisses her passionately… a master of the bold move… he doesn’t even wait until the end of the first date.
Beta Male: Asks for a kiss, gets denied, and goes home without closing the deal.

ALPHA FEMALE: Lets a man know that she’s choosing him, then sits back and waits for him to pursue her… she’s busy with other things/people in the process.
Beta Female: Makes herself extra-available for a guy she doesn’t even know.

ALPHA MALE: Tells a woman what they’re doing for the evening. He has a backup plan (just in case she’s an alpha woman who vetoes his idea).
Beta Male: Says “whatever you want to do”… not realizing that women generally don’t like to make decisions and appreciate being told what’s what.

ALPHA FEMALE: Is in control of her emotions, thinks before she acts, settles for nothing less than the best, and is completely un-tamable.
Beta Female: Lets people define her, agrees for the sake of being agreeable, sleeps with a guy to get him to like her and puts up with disrespect.

ALPHA MALE: Is brash, bold, funny, cocky and never underestimates himself.
Beta Male: Has part of the package, but is too shy to execute.

ALPHA FEMALE: Drips with sex appeal, and wouldn’t be caught dead in hooker clothes to “catch a man” or grubby underwear “cause no one is looking”.
Beta Female: Flaunts her sexuality… even when she’s uncomfortable doing so… and wears sexy underwear to catch a “man” and not for her own enjoyment.

ALPHA MALE: Is up front with the girls he talks to… letting them know that he will only commit to the right woman… if at all.
Beta Male: Is more in love with happily ever after and looks for a woman to play the part of wifely.

ALPHA FEMALE: Knows that people need to hang with their friends, so she happily sends him out with the boys while she takes care of herself or kicks it with her friends.
Beta Female: Throws a fit, calls him constantly and asks him where he was and who he was with whenever he has a guy’s night out.

The above is pretty much interchangeable as far as men and women go… Yet, women especially evolve through relationships. Since women tend to be more self-actualizing, they go for men who are in line with their thoughts about themselves and their potential.
Many women want a man who is more dominant (confident and unpredictable) than she is and if he isn’t, then she will seek out a more dominant partner.

Again,  Alpha females will hook up with Alpha males… beta females will pair with beta males. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because people are different and have different tastes/opinions, etc…  be it first, and only then you will attract the best.

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